Heartbreak...

Okay in Missouri midwifery was illegal until this past June... literally you could not have a birth with a midwife period. They could go to prison for it and still can if they are not a least Certified Professional Midwife (CPN). When moving from Kansas to Missouri I didn't know that. In Kansas my plan was to have our second child in a Birth Center and I was sure St. Louis would have tons of Birth Centers on every corner! Not the case! You see to have a birth center a Dr has to oversee the whole operation and in Missouri not many Drs want to even associate with midwives. :( So it makes the choices for parents very limited before June you options were OB and hospital birth, Midwife and home birth (break the law), or unassisted which means you deliver your baby yourself. So sad for parents to not be able to make a choice on how they want to experience the birth of their child. Parents who choose Home birth typically are very educated in making that decision because lets face it you are totally going against the grain and you want to know all the fact when your family thinks your crazy that you want to have your baby at home :) At least that was the case for me. So its not like they are just sitting at home clueless to whats going to happen ready to pop out a baby. Midwives have check up just as OB's do just not quite as invasive. And in my experience much more hands on care. I learned more about how my body worked with my midwife on my second child than with my OB (technically she was a midwife too but it was in KS where they work with Dr's and she was basically a OB with a Midwife title) with my first. So with the care you receive you form a bond with your midwife, i knew she truly cared about me and our baby almost as if we were part of her family. We had a Home Birth not totally free of complications but we knew we made the right decision and trusted the ability of our midwife and I truly believe that she helped me avoid a c-section. If you want to read my birth story go further back in my blog. But what I didn't add is the tragic loss of a baby whose mom was in labor the same time I was. Only God knows what happened to that poor baby. And I can't begin to imagine loosing a child. Tonight at our monthly midwife meeting the Dad was there furious at the Midwife, with a mission to keep her from practicing. I think as a Husbands and Fathers men feel an obligation to protect their family and I really believe that is what his goal was coming to our meeting tonight. I don't think he has come to the place yet where he knows nothing could have been done. If it were me I would be questioning everything my decisions, religion, the ability of my midwife, my ability to birth... And going through the what ifs because what if the tables where turned and it happened to our family. It could so easily happen to anyone, life is a very precious and fragile, especially a child's life. For a while the death of that baby made our birth almost bittersweet for me. I kept thinking what if I had chosen to have a hospital birth would the midwife then been able to save the baby. But driving home last night as I tried to process everything I realized she could have done nothing more. She was meant to be at my birth as devastating as it was for the other family there is nothing that could have been done even at the hospital. Yes if she was in the hospital she would have been monitored more which may have shown the baby in distress or may have not. We will never know and that has to be devastating for the parents... I would want answers... I did not introduce myself to the Dad in fear I would just make his pain even worse. What he said really tore at every ones heart for him 'this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life and it's the most horrible time of my life'. I also feel pain for my midwife for a long time she is going to wonder if there was more she could have done. That would be more than I could bear and you could see the pain she felt for them which the dad was blind to in his anger. Well I really don't know what else to say I 'm still in shock about this and I think it makes it harder to put a face with the event that happened and see all the pain that came with it.

Bubbles!!!

So the other day we were looking at all the fun outdoor toys at Walmart while we were waiting to get our tire fixed and we ended up getting a few bubble things. I saw the gallon size jug and thought well that's not horrible for a couple weeks worth of fun. But since I'm starting to become more self sufficient I decided to look up a recipe and whala 50 cents for a gallon!!! Here is the recipe i used:

2 1/2 quarts water
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1 cup clear liquid dish detergent (not soap for an automatic dishwasher)
Food coloring (optional)

I doubled it and didn't use food coloring cuz Dawn soap is blue already. It works great right after you mix it but a lot of sites say to let it sit for a day. We will be using this instead of buying it ever again. Although we may get a few bubble guns and stuff like that.

Cheap and 'Green' Cleaning

So like many I am looking for cheaper ways to do things. So far I menu plan, cloth diaper and make my own laundry detergent. My next feat is making my own cleaning supplies! So far what I have found is the main ingredents to all cleaning supplies are Baking Soda, Borax and Vinegar! With some additives here and there. But you can make less hazardous cleaning solutions for half the price! Even Oven Cleaner and Stain Remover!! Here are some recipes I haven't tried them but I will update you on how it goes!

All Purpose Spray:
http://groceryshrink.com/store/WsAncillary.asp?ID=8

Green Cleaning Kit:
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/make-your-own-non-toxic-cleaning-kit.html

Disinfectant Wipes:
http://www.stretcher.com/stories/00/001120a.cfm
http://carlalynne.blogspot.com/2007/12/homemade-disinfecting-wipes.html

Carpet Cleaner:
http://greenliving.suite101.com/article.cfm/homemade_carpet_cleaners_lean_mean_and_green

Stain Remover:
http://www.thefrugalshopper.com/articles/softener.shtml

Great Ideas:
http://www.homekeeping101.com/news/cleaning/household-cleaning.html