Heartbreak...

Okay in Missouri midwifery was illegal until this past June... literally you could not have a birth with a midwife period. They could go to prison for it and still can if they are not a least Certified Professional Midwife (CPN). When moving from Kansas to Missouri I didn't know that. In Kansas my plan was to have our second child in a Birth Center and I was sure St. Louis would have tons of Birth Centers on every corner! Not the case! You see to have a birth center a Dr has to oversee the whole operation and in Missouri not many Drs want to even associate with midwives. :( So it makes the choices for parents very limited before June you options were OB and hospital birth, Midwife and home birth (break the law), or unassisted which means you deliver your baby yourself. So sad for parents to not be able to make a choice on how they want to experience the birth of their child. Parents who choose Home birth typically are very educated in making that decision because lets face it you are totally going against the grain and you want to know all the fact when your family thinks your crazy that you want to have your baby at home :) At least that was the case for me. So its not like they are just sitting at home clueless to whats going to happen ready to pop out a baby. Midwives have check up just as OB's do just not quite as invasive. And in my experience much more hands on care. I learned more about how my body worked with my midwife on my second child than with my OB (technically she was a midwife too but it was in KS where they work with Dr's and she was basically a OB with a Midwife title) with my first. So with the care you receive you form a bond with your midwife, i knew she truly cared about me and our baby almost as if we were part of her family. We had a Home Birth not totally free of complications but we knew we made the right decision and trusted the ability of our midwife and I truly believe that she helped me avoid a c-section. If you want to read my birth story go further back in my blog. But what I didn't add is the tragic loss of a baby whose mom was in labor the same time I was. Only God knows what happened to that poor baby. And I can't begin to imagine loosing a child. Tonight at our monthly midwife meeting the Dad was there furious at the Midwife, with a mission to keep her from practicing. I think as a Husbands and Fathers men feel an obligation to protect their family and I really believe that is what his goal was coming to our meeting tonight. I don't think he has come to the place yet where he knows nothing could have been done. If it were me I would be questioning everything my decisions, religion, the ability of my midwife, my ability to birth... And going through the what ifs because what if the tables where turned and it happened to our family. It could so easily happen to anyone, life is a very precious and fragile, especially a child's life. For a while the death of that baby made our birth almost bittersweet for me. I kept thinking what if I had chosen to have a hospital birth would the midwife then been able to save the baby. But driving home last night as I tried to process everything I realized she could have done nothing more. She was meant to be at my birth as devastating as it was for the other family there is nothing that could have been done even at the hospital. Yes if she was in the hospital she would have been monitored more which may have shown the baby in distress or may have not. We will never know and that has to be devastating for the parents... I would want answers... I did not introduce myself to the Dad in fear I would just make his pain even worse. What he said really tore at every ones heart for him 'this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life and it's the most horrible time of my life'. I also feel pain for my midwife for a long time she is going to wonder if there was more she could have done. That would be more than I could bear and you could see the pain she felt for them which the dad was blind to in his anger. Well I really don't know what else to say I 'm still in shock about this and I think it makes it harder to put a face with the event that happened and see all the pain that came with it.

Bubbles!!!

So the other day we were looking at all the fun outdoor toys at Walmart while we were waiting to get our tire fixed and we ended up getting a few bubble things. I saw the gallon size jug and thought well that's not horrible for a couple weeks worth of fun. But since I'm starting to become more self sufficient I decided to look up a recipe and whala 50 cents for a gallon!!! Here is the recipe i used:

2 1/2 quarts water
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1 cup clear liquid dish detergent (not soap for an automatic dishwasher)
Food coloring (optional)

I doubled it and didn't use food coloring cuz Dawn soap is blue already. It works great right after you mix it but a lot of sites say to let it sit for a day. We will be using this instead of buying it ever again. Although we may get a few bubble guns and stuff like that.

Cheap and 'Green' Cleaning

So like many I am looking for cheaper ways to do things. So far I menu plan, cloth diaper and make my own laundry detergent. My next feat is making my own cleaning supplies! So far what I have found is the main ingredents to all cleaning supplies are Baking Soda, Borax and Vinegar! With some additives here and there. But you can make less hazardous cleaning solutions for half the price! Even Oven Cleaner and Stain Remover!! Here are some recipes I haven't tried them but I will update you on how it goes!

All Purpose Spray:
http://groceryshrink.com/store/WsAncillary.asp?ID=8

Green Cleaning Kit:
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/make-your-own-non-toxic-cleaning-kit.html

Disinfectant Wipes:
http://www.stretcher.com/stories/00/001120a.cfm
http://carlalynne.blogspot.com/2007/12/homemade-disinfecting-wipes.html

Carpet Cleaner:
http://greenliving.suite101.com/article.cfm/homemade_carpet_cleaners_lean_mean_and_green

Stain Remover:
http://www.thefrugalshopper.com/articles/softener.shtml

Great Ideas:
http://www.homekeeping101.com/news/cleaning/household-cleaning.html

Word World

Have you seen it! My husband is laughing at me right now because I love this show! Yes it's a cartoon duh! The best one ever! All the animals are made out of letters and they build a word... which means they put letters together and the letters form the object. My kiddo loves this too! I mean what could be better when you are watching cartoons when that cartoon is literally all about spelling! http://www.wordworld.com/ It's on PBS Kids which is one of the new digital channels or it's on cable. We don't have satellite or cable right now just a giant antenna and the converter box! Free HDTV! And you know we really are doing just fine with what we have. We have 11 channels and i doubt we will ever get satellite or cable ever again.

Boys, boys, boys!!!

I love being a mama to boys I really do! Sometimes I wonder if I'm gonna be able to wrestle them both at once lol! I'm sure my creative instincts will kick in and it won't be a problem but I don't really enjoy being a punching bag :) Today I was playing with JW my 2yo and WHACK!!! My nose and the back of his head make contact! Nose makes cracking sound and this mama who has NEVER broken a bone in her body swears that this is #1 broken bone! But no bleeding and not much bruising and hubby assures me it's not broken, lol! Oh but it hurt and seriously for a second I thought I was going to pass out. Now how great would that have been I would have made the head lines "SAHM of 2 found by neighbor passed out with children crying over body" How horrible is that! So that's the latest 'funny' on JW....besides the whole potty training venture but thats another blog subject :)

Now Jace... I can't believe he'll be 2 months this week on Valentines day! He's growing so fast right before my eyes! He can hold his head up pretty well and smile and just started cooing its beautiful and awesome! First of all I cosleep with my kids and love every minute of it. Anyways Jace always sleeps on my bicep and early one morning he leaked through a tiny bit of pee so instead of getting the whole gang up at 3 in the morning I changed his diaper and put a blanket over the wet spot. Good enough and lets get some more sleep. So about 9 the next morning (hubby let me sleep in and got up with JW) I felt the familiar wetness again oh geish I thought but i already knew i was going to have to wash the sheets. So i start getting out of bed when i see ORANGEISH-YELLOW every where! Yes! POOP!! Jace exploded right out of his diaper like the biggest explosion in his short little life! It was hilarious just the full gotta give him a bath then myself a bath and know I'll remember that moment for the rest of my life that little face looking at me like whats going on mom? So that's my life lots of bodily fluids going on in our house of boys and lots a wrestling!

25 Things...

25 Things about Me...

1) I really do love my life right now... I have a awesome hubby and two beautiful...oopps handsome boys a roof over my head and food in the pantry.

2) When I was little I loved playing in the rain! Because that was when all the worms would come out, HAHA!! So i would go to all the mud holes and see how many worms i could collect in my hand.

3) When I was about 7 i used to play in this really cool pond there were tons of baby frogs and lots of different flowers, i used to play there all the time. A few years ago i found out it was a sewer pond! Yeah i was playing in poo!

4) I have totaled two cars! One when was 15 and one when i was 18. Both times all the air bags deployed. I think thats why i get so freaked out when someone else drives even though I was driving when i wrecked.

5) I have been in a private christian school home schooled and then to public school. Hated them all and really did like college and my technical school.

6) I love art! I love painting and just making things with my creative skills. That is why i have a degree in graphic design. Even though i don't use my degree i'm glad to have the experience of college.

7) My senior year in High School I worked as a Nanny. Very interesting! Would much rather have my own kids :)

8) My mom wants to start a new business making jewelry designed by me and my sister. I really thinks its a cool idea and she wants me to make a baby line and a website and I'm really excited about it! She said she's tired of everyone making money off the internet and wants to see if we could profit from it.

9) I would love to go to Germany on my own terms. My sister and I went to stay with my Dad 6 years ago but we didn't get to see all the history making stuff! I would love to go in a few years.

10) We moved to St. Louis/Wentzville in July to try to get a better start and we are still trying. We really miss our family but at the same time we have never got to spend so much time together as a family and i really love that. Kevin can really get to know his boys and not feel like he's missing all the growing up stuff!

11) I just wanted to cry and cry every time Kevin said he was sick or needed to see the doctor when he was sick. I just all reminded me of 2004 when he was in ICU for 4 days and in KU Med for 7 days with no real explination for his illness. I felt helpless but hopeful because i knew that this time we would find a doctor that could help him. And neither of us was gonna give up we were going to figure out what would help him. One of the other reasons i love living here!

12) I am a 1/4 mexican and pretty proud of that! My mom's family is from New Mexico before it was part of the US. Part of my dad's side came from the Oregon Trail.

13) Kevin and I met on a blind date in High School and he became my type lol!! I learned from my Grandpa Stan that it was important to laugh! So I always wanted to marry someone who made me laugh and I pretty much hit the jackpot, LOL!

14) Kevin and I moved in together right after I graduated. My mom hated it but can't really blame her. I still think I made the right decision.

15) I am really passionate about breastfeeding and honestly think it is the best way to feed a baby but understand if it's not possible but really think everyone should at least try if they can. I'm thinking about becoming a Le Leche League Leader when i get the hang of two kids, LOL.

16) I love watching the clouds and stars and just found out JW likes it too. My favorite moment in the past couple weeks was laying on the grass with Jace on my chest sleeping and JW next to me as we watched the clouds pass by and looked for planes...blissful!

17) I really think we all have a purpose in life but that it may change from time to time

18) I love Spring!!! All the pretty flowers and wonderful smells!

19) When I was 12 I had my tonsiles removed

20) I know more Amy's than i can count lol!

21) I have 8 sets of Grandparents! 5 still living... And wish my Grandpa Stan was still here... I really miss him and all our conversations and his great look on life

22) I would love to go snorkeling and learn how to scuba dive!

23) We are trying to eat healthier in our house but i'm starting to despise salad already

24) I got my first tattoo on my 18th birthday and want more. My Dad called me and I told him I was at Walmart while I was in the tattoo parlor parking lot LOL!!!

25) I am going to be a Maid of Honor for the 2nd time in my life for my Little sister Melissa and am thrilled I love all the girlie girl stuff with planning weddings.

Detergent

My friend gave me some awesome recipes for CHEAP natural soaps had to post so we can all save some moula!

Dishwasher Detergent:
1tsp Liquid Dish Soap
1/4 cup Borax
1/4 cup Baking Soda
1tbsp Vinegar
2 gal water

Mix well until dissolved.

add vinegar to jet dry for streak free shine

Laundry Detergent:
1 bar Dove (or bar soap of your choice)
5 gallons of water
6 cups water
1 cup washing soda
1 cup borax powder

~You will also need a bucket, about 5 gallon size~

Grate the soap and put it in a sauce pan. Add 6 cups water and heat it until the soap melts. Add the washing soda and the borax and stir until it is dissolved. Remove from heat. Pour 1 gallon hot water into the bucket. Now add your soap mixture and stir. Now add the rest of the water. Let the soap sit for about 24 hours and it will gel. You use ½ cup per load. 1/4 cup for front loading machine.
I saved some of my old detergent bottles and filled them with the soap, you could probably use milk containers too.

I did a accidental flop of this recipe. I used baking soda and left out 4 gallons of water and i use that on my diapers and it works great!